Wednesday, August 03, 2016 Syahirah Skylar 7 Comments

Hello Readers!

       Have you ever had a friend who you get along with at first, but then as the days passed you start discovering their true-self.  What you discovered in them was something that just brings a negative vibe to you.  As you got to know them, you know that the person is not really all bad but just their mentality and attitude that sometimes just get under your nerves. 

       I value friends a lot.  I value them so much that I tend to care more about them than they do to me.  I care so much that I stick around even if that person is a parasite.  They may not stick to you cause of the benefit they can get but just because you are there, available to accompany them along the journey and ease the way.  They become your friend maybe because you are the first person they meet during college orientation day, so they do not want to be all alone throughout the first week. 

       You accompany them, you see their vulnerable side, and you try your hardest to lift them back up when they are down.  You try being a good friend by supporting them when they are doing a presentation.  You comfort them when their boyfriend cheated on them.  You try to motivate them when their ex-boyfriend insult them online.  Unfortunately, they don't see what you do to them...they don't realise the good things you do.  What hurts is that they turn out to be toxic too that contaminate the air you breathe.  They see you in whole different perspective and misunderstood your act of caring into somehow judgmental, nosy, bossy, their-second-mother-wanna-be act.  They see you as a bad person.  They lash out on you every time you give them advise.  They lash out on you because their thoughts are full of themselves and never took time to comprehend what you are trying to say.  They appreciate you less and lesser then focus their attention on others who hasn't see their toxic side. 

       You end up being suffocated with all the negativity and the toxic they brought.  However, even thought the air is polluted there's this feeling you have inside that gives you hope that maybe...just maybe, you are able to decontaminate the air from the toxic.  You value your friendship because you know that that person is actually nice but its just their immaturity in their mentality and their their attitude that seems to be the problem.  However, you will eventually get tired when you see no progress in the changing. 

I am tired, exhausted and in need of a fresh air to breathe and now I realise the only way for me to breathe is to let you go...and distance myself from you.

PS. Have you been in this situation? or perhaps something similar? If you do, how do you deal with them? Let me know in the comments below.  I love listening to others' story and get a little insight on what they went through. 

-Luminary Skylar


  1. Well sometimes our own friends can misunderstand our kindness. My way to deal with them, first is assure them that we are very honest in this friendship and stop expecting them to be what we would like them to be. After all, we cant really change a person character, but if we ourselves a positive influence than we may accept them in our own positive perspective, such that blinded with all their kindness instead of blind by all their fault. :)

    Hence, me nowaday less expect in people, not bcause I dont care about them, but because there is nothing much to expect from human, they are just human being like us, have flaw everywhere. :)

  2. I have been in a similar situation with a high school 'friend'. I helped her with everything and she clung to me like crazy, because she had trouble reaching out to people and doing her own thing. She was basically a copycat, then suddenly tried to cut me out of her life and take credit for all of the things I'd helped her achieve. Needless to say, we're not in touch anymore. This all happened years ago and ended with a gigantic fight. I've moved on, she found someone else to cling to. If we see each other around town we talk, but she's scared of me and the way I live my life, I can tell by the look in her eyes.

    Anyway, I'd distance myself from people who have such a negative influence. If doing it all at once is too painful, just slowly take your distance until you feel like you can take of running. You deserve people with a positive mindset in your life ;)

    x Envy
    Lost in Translation

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  4. I have been in that situation. Sometimes, I'm just too tired of her attitude, but I didn't want to give up. I tried to discover her real problems and helped her. I'm so satisfied because she finally have changed.

    I know it leaves a scar and hurts us. But it's all worth it. Changing someone's bad attitude could be our most unexpected experience. Proof that we have that one of the best quality.

  5. i distance myself. i try to understand her and view from her side but still this not working.

  6. i have been there before. i talk to them.

  7. yes. tengah rasa sekarang.. kawan yg saya paling percaya, almost everything saya share dgn dia tiba2 taknak tegur saya lepas ada sikit salah faham.. dia ego taknak minta maaf, tpi saya tetap sayang dia sebab saya selalu share apa2 benda smua kat dia, dia selalu dengar luahan hati saya. mungkin sebab waktu tu je dia dah penat kot asyik dengar masalah saya je