I value friends a lot.  I value them so much that I tend to care more about them than they do to me.  I care so much that I stick around even if that person is a parasite.  They may not stick to you cause of the benefit they can get but just because you are there, available to accompany them along the journey and ease the way.  They become your friend maybe because you are the first person they meet during college orientation day, so they do not want to be all alone throughout the first week. 

       You accompany them, you see their vulnerable side, and you try your hardest to lift them back up when they are down.  You try being a good friend by supporting them when they are doing a presentation.  You comfort them when their boyfriend cheated on them.  You try to motivate them when their ex-boyfriend insult them online.  Unfortunately, they don't see what you do to them...they don't realise the good things you do.  What hurts is that they turn out to be toxic too that contaminate the air you breathe.  They see you in whole different perspective and misunderstood your act of caring into somehow judgmental, nosy, bossy, their-second-mother-wanna-be act.  They see you as a bad person.  They lash out on you every time you give them advise.  They lash out on you because their thoughts are full of themselves and never took time to comprehend what you are trying to say.  They appreciate you less and lesser then focus their attention on others who hasn't see their toxic side. 

       You end up being suffocated with all the negativity and the toxic they brought.  However, even thought the air is polluted there's this feeling you have inside that gives you hope that maybe...just maybe, you are able to decontaminate the air from the toxic.  You value your friendship because you know that that person is actually nice but its just their immaturity in their mentality and their their attitude that seems to be the problem.  However, you will eventually get tired when you see no progress in the changing. 

I am tired, exhausted and in need of a fresh air to breathe and now I realise the only way for me to breathe is to let you go...and distance myself from you.

PS. Have you been in this situation? or perhaps something similar? If you do, how do you deal with them? Let me know in the comments below.  I love listening to others' story and get a little insight on what they went through. 

-Luminary Skylar

Hello there readers!

        A few months ago i had post a so call poem that i wrote called Be Alright.  Based on the respond i had in the comments, you guys seem to liked it and enjoyed reading it.  I really appreciate all the comments given and it is wonderful feeling knowing that there are people actually like or enjoy something that i created or made.  Those comments and also knowing that you guys liked the poem just motivates me to write more poems and post it on this blog. Moreover, i decided to share another poem with you guys.

       Have you ever had a dream that felt so real?  All the actions and gestures in the dream felt so real. It could be a warm hug, a firm handshake, or a hand gently cupping your cheek, or maybe a finger slowly tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. It could be anything. The person in the dream might be someone that you like or in love with.  It could be your lover, crush, someone that you just admire or maybe a celebrity such as actors or actresses. It could be an artist such as Justin Bieber or a member of your favourite band.  It could be a Youtuber or Viner that you love and adore.  You may had a dream that meet them in person and have this sweet moments that just make you so happy and overwhelming at the same time but in reality that person is miles away and did not know that you exist.

       

       You have this dream that is too good to be true but you really wish it is true and that it is real. Unfortunately, in the end you woke up disappointing when you realised that it was all just a dream but all the gestures that felt so real somehow brings the vibe and feelings that make you longing and attached to the dream.  It makes you wondering about it and it clouded your mind that you end up getting caught up in the dream.

Caught up in a dream,

That feel so real,

That i wish it is reality,

But seem too good to be true,

Dreaming of someone,

I am crazy in love,

Dreaming of someone,

I know i will never meet,

As i wake up to reality,

Hoping it was real so badly,

I never want it to vanished,

But it was gone,

I can still feel the vibe,

Keeping me drawn,

Getting attach and caught up,

In a dream that will never be true,

                                                                    - Syahirah Skylar

       

       So, this the poem that i wrote about 2 years ago.  I got inspired by this dream i had about a member of my favourite band.  It was Harry Styles from One Direction.  The dream i had felt so real. I can feel him touching my cheek and i can feel my fingers going through his hair. I woke up questioning myself on how come it felt so real. I was so caught up in the dream that spend most of day wondering about it and decided to put what i feel on paper and that is how this poem is created. I know i am not a poet and i am not Shakespeare but i hope you will like this poem as much as you liked Be Alright if not, more. 

       P.S. Have you ever had a dream about your fave actor/singer/band or Youtuber/Viner? If you do, leave a comment below. Tell me who you dreamt about and what was the dream about?  Did you felt that the dream was real? Comments down below. I would appreciate your response...

- Luminary Skylar

Hello there readers!

       Exactly 14 days ago on 1st of March 5 Seconds of Summer had landed in Kuala Lumpur International Airport for their Sounds Live Feels Live tour concert at KL Convention Center.  Exactly 14 days since i met them at the airport. For the first time ever in my life, i went to the airport to welcome a band or artist.  It was a last minute decision.  My mum was out station so i had to come home from college by train and then drive from the train station to home.  Once i parked my car at home, something inside me urged me to have a look at twitter.  I scrolled through the timeline and saw tweets and pictures of fans waiting for 5SOS.  In that moment, my heart started pounding and the feeling of excitement started to rise inside me.  I could not control the urge anymore so i started the engine again and drive straight to KLIA.

     
       Now, if you guys don't know who 5 Seconds of Summer is...they are a boy band from Sydney, Australia.  You may have heard their song Jet Black Heart kept playing on the radio for the past week because they were doing a concert here.  Also, some of you might know them when their song called She looks so Perfect and also Amnesia were famous back in 2014.  I started knowing them in the year 2013 when they were the opening act for One Direction (YES i'm a directioner.).  When i found out they were touring with One Direction, i was curious so i search them up on YouTube and that's when i heard their songs for the first time.  

       I listened to Heartbreak Girl and instantly fell in love with them.  The beat got me so hype up and somehow gets into my vein and it made me feel alive.  I know that sounds weird but when i listen to it i love their sound and the genre.  The song stuck in my mind and I could not stop singing Heartbreak Girl when i walked around in school.  I then listen to Try Hard and all of their other songs.  There wasn't much back then since they do not have an album yet.  I love listening to their song called Too Late.  You can hear it in the song how thick their Aussie accent are and listening to it takes me back to Australia.  Every time i miss Australia i will listen to their songs from their EP.  They made me feel right at home.  Since then i had been a huge fan of them and supporting them till now. 

       

      

        After about an hour of waiting, i met Emily and Maddie who were from Sydney and Melbourne.  They flew all the way from Australia just to see 5SOS.  They were so friendly and super sweet and we had a good chat.  I also met Zira who was from Brunei and she is pretty cool.  It was overwhelming meeting all these people and it was not awkward at all.  It did not feel like i was surrounded by strangers, it felt like you are part of this community and it also feels like you're with a family.

       At around 8.30pm Luke, Ashton, Calum and Michael walked through the gate  along with the body guards.  All the fans were waiting by this barrier.  It was insane and the excitement just rush through your body.  I was this close to Luke and Ashton but i could not go nearer since there were so many people.  In that moment, my mind was saying "They're here....They are real..oh my god".  Sometime seeing your favourite band on magazines and on social media sometime makes you forget that they are actually real.  It all went to fast and after taking pictures and signing autographs the boys started walking out towards the door and head to their van.  Everyone started following and chasing them.  I got stopped by a bodyguard but i manage get passed him.

  

       I walked towards the door where 5SOS were heading and instantly i saw Luke in front of me.  I walked beside him and reach out my hand slightly touch his flannel's sleeve. "Luke, can i please have a picture with you..?" i asked him.  He stayed quiet and look at me from the corner of his eyes and then towards the bodyguard who was guiding him. He seem to hesitate on whether he should a picture with me or following the bodyguard.  "Please..Luke, I couldn't go to the show tomorrow" i said.  He has this pity expression on his face and he  hesitated at first but then decided to lean towards me and smile for a second. It was too quick i couldn't get his whole face in the picture.  He continued to walk and i got stopped by a security guard again so i stop for a second and then continue walking next to Luke until he reach the van.  There were body guards guiding the van door and the last glimpse i had was Ashton sitting in the van holding his phone up while smiling as if taking a selfie.

       Even though i did not manage to get a good picture with Luke, it was surreal to actually be this close to him.  I did not manage to get near Calum and Michael but i did get a glimpse of them. It was such an insane experience that even though the van had gone i still had this rush of excitement.  We then took a group selfie with RD, the radio announcer from Hitz.fm and he posted the picture on twitter.  I did not regret my decision on going to the Airport cause at the end of the day it was such an amazing experience.  It was a pleasure meeting other fans and made new friends.  We followed each other on twitter and instagram and hopefully we will continue to stay in touch.

       Ps. What's your favourite band or singer? Do you like 5SOS too? Have ever go to any concert or meet your fave at the airport? If you do...what was it like? Let me know down in the comments below :) 

-Luminary Skylar

Hello there Readers!

       

       Back in 2009, when i was still in Perth, Western Australia.  There was this new girl in our class from Germany, name Zoe.  She was pretty quiet and does not talk much.  One day, i saw her sitting on the bench outside our classroom all alone while others were all talking about their weekends and other stuff while waiting for the bell to ring.  Seeing her sitting on that bench quietly, reminded me of myself.  She reminded me of the time when i first moved there and what it was like to be the new girl who wasn't fluent in speaking English.  

   
       Knowing how hard it was for me being a new girl and to make friends when i wasn't fluent in english i decided to go talk to her.  I walked towards her and sat next to her on the bench. Putting a friendly smile on my face and said "Hi" then asked her what she did during the weekend.  She talked about going with her parents to this place and something about a sewing machine if i'm not mistaken.  I did not quite understood on what she had said but i continued talking to her and appreciate her effort on trying her best to talk.  She even had this German-English dictionary in her hands to help her with the word that she wanted to say but did not know what the word is in english.
     
       Since then, i started hanging out with her more during recess and lunch.  Each day we became closer and i begin to consider her as my best friend.  We started hanging out outside school ground too. I came over to her house and hangout and she would come to mine as well.  I still remember the day her mum invited me to join them hiking at this place call Serpentine.  It was my first time going hiking and i am glad to experience it with her and her parents.  Zoe is a pretty cool girl.  She did ballet and she is very creative and love to draw.  I remember during easter hat parade she wore this beautiful hat that she actually made it out of newspaper.  She could also ride a UNICYCLE!! How cool is that?

       At the end of 2009 Zoe moved back to Germany.  Before she left she gave me this friends necklace that has a heart locket written BEST on it. Inside it was a picture of her and she has the same locket but with FRIENDS written on it and with a picture of me inside it.  Since then we only keep in touch through e-mail.  Before she actually moved back to Germany she actually visited Malaysia first.  She send me a postcard from Malaysia telling me how she was having a good time in Malaysia.  As the days went by, i moved back to Malaysia and a lot things kept me busy so i rarely opened my e-mail.  I did reply her e-mail whenever i can and i remember one time she send me a postcard from Germany during Christmas.  I talked to her on facebook once in a while and then somehow by 2013 we both became quiet.

      A few weeks ago, I found my scrapbook and come across a few picture of her and makes me realize that it had been a long time since i last talked to her.  I decided to get back in touch with her and send a message to her on facebook.  She replied asking me how i am doing.  I asked her if she has whatsapp and that maybe we could talk more on there since i am not that active on facebook.  On 25th January i check my facebook and i received a message from her.  She gave me her phone number and said that it was a great idea.


       That night, after i finished cleaning up my room and studying I send her a message on whatsapp.  Honestly i was kinda nervous. I was scared what if the conversation will turn out awkward and also i was a little afraid that she does not really want to talk to me.  I mean it has been two years since last talk and i did not put much effort on contacting her. Putting all my worries aside i send her a simple greeting message and a while later she replied with a cheerful emoji and said "Glad to hear from you!".  That message from her immediately put a smile on my face and all the worries i had seem to disappear.  I continued chatting with and there was no awkwardness at all.  I told her that i still keep the necklace she gave me and she told me that she still has it too. Then she start sending me pictures of things that she still keep that has sentimental value of our friendship.  She send me this friendship bead bracelet the we made together out of newspaper and thread.  I was the one who taught her how to make it and i told her that i learn to do this when i was in first grade.  She also send me a picture of a piece of paper with "Dragon Script" on it. It is just alphabet and symbols that i gave it to her and told her that we can use it as our secret code when we were passing notes in class.

       She also send me a picture of my handwriting that i wrote "Kawan karib di Australia".  It was a few days before she left Australia.  I print pictures of us and her than i glue it to my scrapbook.  I told her to write her address next to the picture and also to write something in German.  She does not know what to write at first but then she end up writing "Beste Freunde in Australien" which means "Best friends in Australia".  Then she told me to write something for her in Malay, so i end up writing the same thing for her.  All the pictures she send me just makes me a little emotional and i was shocked that she still kept all these things after all these years.

       After that, our conversation continued talking about the things we did in Perth.  She told me how she really loves the Turkish pizza that my mum bought every time she came over my house and that she never found a good pizza that is good as that pizza ever again.  She then told me how loves the rose syrup drink (air sirap..lol) i made for her one time.  She told me that she actually search for the rose syrup in Germany and that was glad that she found it.  This just made me laugh cause i can not believe that she actually love the rose syrup drink and actually look for it in Germany just because i introduce the drink to her.  I made her craving for rose syrup.  We end up talking for about 3 hours until it was midnight that i had to go to bed and that she had to work on an essay that she need to get it done.

       This friendship i have with Zoe had taught me so many things.  I learn that if that person means a lot to you, you should go and make effort on contacting that person.  If that person values you and your friendship, that person would gladly respond to you even though you both have not been interacting for 2 years.  Another thing that i learn is that a good friend or best friend does not have to come from a big crowd or group, they can be from a small crowd or someone who is isolated from others.  Next time you see someone sitting alone, or someone who is quiet and does not interact much with others, go say hi and talk to them. You will never know that that person can be your best friend and probably the coolest and greatest person you have met.

       P.S Have you ever had a friend that somehow you lose contact with them? Have you try putting effort on contacting them lately? Leave a comment below and share your stories. I would love to see your response. Also, if you have a best friend...what is she/he like? Tell me in the comment below.  Oh before i forget...if you have any other suggestion or things you like me to write about...leave your ideas down below too...i would really appreciate it if you guys do ^_^

- Luminary Skylar